I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize