forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
