you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
