we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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