How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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