You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
