the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
