I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
This toilet bowl is my home.
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