i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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