Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
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