I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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