Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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