Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
NoShamevember. You game?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
