I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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