she was so not down for the gang bang
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
