I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
