I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
