I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
