that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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