u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
