Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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