i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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