How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
