yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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