Tell her she can't have a vagina
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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