did you get engaged???
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
