Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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