i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
