Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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