Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize