He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
