I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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