kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
