he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
