So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
