she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
