she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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