it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
