Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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