she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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