Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
