i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
