She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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