Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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