I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
