i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
