and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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