Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
