You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
