I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
