Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
