It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
So squirting runs in the family.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
