D3 body, D1 cock
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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