There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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