I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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