PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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