If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
